04 NOV 2019

Single and Sober: A Guide to Sober Dating

Sober living might give you clarity of mind, but that doesn't always mean you're ready to date. No one is worth your sobriety, so it's worth taking some time to be sober and single without any complications. And, when you do feel ready, make sure to approach any potential relationship with caution. After all, learning how to date someone with an addiction is a new experience for you too. 

Are you about to try sober dating for the first time? Check out these tips to ensure your search for love doesn't compromise your sobriety. 

Don't Rule Out Dating a Recovering Addict

You might both be single and sober but it's a bad idea to date people in your regular meetings. If it goes badly - as two sober singles dating often does - you might lose your favorite meeting in the process. That said, there are several advantages to dating someone in recovery. 

First off, you can avoid the complications of figuring out how to date someone who drinks when you can't. And, far from being a bad influence, their strength of character and resilience could be just the inspiration you need to stay sober and enjoy a healthy relationship. 

Suggest a Coffee Date

In a world of Tinder and Bumble dates that last as long as the average lunch break, it's becoming more acceptable to meet for coffee on the first date. 

Most people use this 'pre-date' to work out if they want to see the other person for a real date. If you're keen for a second date then it's best to rip off that Band-Aid and mention that you quit drinking. They might ghost you. But at least you avoided wasting time on someone who's not right for you. And, if they also want a second date, you won't have to make up some story about being on antibiotics when they ask what you want to drink. 

Avoid Oversharing 

As other sober singles will tell you, it's common to be confronted with a barrage of questions about your sobriety if you date someone who's not in recovery too. 

In the early stages of dating, avoid oversharing. Instead, prepare truthful but short answers that summarize your sober journey without revealing too much. 

Say drinking held you back from what you wanted to achieve in life. Tell them you go to meetings. But save the rock-bottom stories for another time. 

Know Your Limits

Potential partners will often ask if you mind them drinking. If you do then you're probably not ready to be dating. That said, going out with someone who enjoys the odd glass of wine is one thing. But dating someone who blacks out on the regular is another. 

If that's the case, it's always best to walk away. You can't help them but they can really harm you and your recovery. 

Your Guide to Sober Dating

Sober dating can be a minefield. Whether you date someone else in recovery or not, it's a whole new experience from the world of dating you left behind in the height of your addiction. This is why, as with any step of your sober journey, it's important not to do it alone. Feel free to contact us for more information and advice.